


I'm Floating in a Most Peculiar Way

by aroundloafofbread



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Actually this whole thing is nonsense, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, And the author is not sorry about it, But with no real scientific basis LOL, Fluff and Humor, Intergalactic Nonsense, M/M, Science Fiction, Spaceships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 09:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20387764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroundloafofbread/pseuds/aroundloafofbread
Summary: Harry is chased down by Voldemort's fleet of spaceships, the Death Eaters. But all he has is his very untrustworthy little red spaceship.-For the Problematic Ship Flash Fest





	I'm Floating in a Most Peculiar Way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RedHorse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHorse/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [RedHorse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHorse/pseuds/RedHorse) in the [TomarryFlashExchanges](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TomarryFlashExchanges) collection. 

> **Prompt:**
> 
> Please don't leave me alone in outer space. Anything that fits the title will make me happy! Harrymort is good too. Except if there must be alien-involved smut maybe don't include too much detail? Otherwise :elmo: go wild!

Harry was only a year old when the Phoenix nation was conquered. He was then assigned by the empire to live in a dome on a planet settlement known as 0RD3R-SUX, under the rule of intergalactic warlord Voldemort.

He grew up with many other orphans in the largely bloodthirsty galaxy, and became hot-headed, rebellious and consistently gained the ire of the empire. Harry spent a great deal of his youth learning to pilot before eventually finding a home of his own with people he loved. And even though his life now was as close to perfect as it could be, there were still things that could provoke his ire. 

Like the new bill that threatened the rights of the Ravenclaws, of whom his friend Hermione was a member of. 

So Harry staged a major protest, blew up a statue of Voldemort and raced off into space when the forces came to apprehend him.

***

Harry cursed his little red spaceship. He’d bought it precisely because of its vibrant colour and metallic gold wings. But it was also too attention-grabbing which on hindsight made him an obvious target.

It was made to fly at extremely high speeds but used up warp power just as quickly. It also made a great deal of loud, farting noises regardless of what Harry did, which completely defeated the purpose of its additional cloaking abilities and stealth mode. It was only funny for the first month when he flew it with Ron around the galaxy to annoy people.

Right now, his pursuers were close behind him and he had to find a way to lose them. He took a sharp right swerve and then a sudden dip. The spaceship behind him careened off course but the rest continued to give chase. If he could find a warp point, he could speed up and take it to another destination, but there were none in sight. At this rate he would just run out of energy.

Harry gritted his teeth. He was a great pilot, but the personal fleet of Voldemort was full of the best pilot captains in the galaxy. They were obnoxiously named Death Eaters and Harry could see the Malfoys’ distinct peacock tail design of the spaceship closest to him. And behind, furthest away but even more menacing was the Prophecy, the most powerful spaceship in the whole empire, which belonged to Voldemort. 

He put on a little bit more speed to increase the distance.

Suddenly to his left, he saw a small pinprick of light and he took another sharp turn, tilting forward on full speed towards the warp point. 

But as he neared, he realised his mistake. It wasn’t a regulated warp point by the empire forces, but a rogue one likely controlled by pirates and snatchers. 

“Harry Potter. Turn around right now,” came a cold and harsh voice through Harry’s transceiver.

Harry desperately punched on the brakes, but he was too slow to change directions before he plunged through the warp point.

It was a moment of blinding light searing behind his eyelids, before a deep empty darkness surrounded Harry on all sides. He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the utter absence of light except the dim glow within his own spaceship.

Then slowly, small lights started to wink into existence around him, in hues of purple, blue and pink. They shimmered, sparkled and twinkled against the inky darkness of space.

He had made it through. Though it also seemed he was very near a nebulous cloud.

The transceiver on his spaceship suddenly came to life, crackling as the same voice came through. “Harry. Harry Potter. Respond if you hear me.”

“Can’t hear you.” Potter replied snidely.

“Stay where you are or else –”

The voice was suddenly cut off as the transceiver failed and the spaceship shook and released several grinding, whirling sounds.

“Oh nooo! Not now!” Harry cried out, sitting up in his seat and frantically pushing all the buttons for survival mode. The spaceship did not respond except to release a sort of warbling noise followed by a series of farts. 

“Godric, you shit!” He yelled at his spaceship and gave it a kick. But its lights continued to flash before completely shutting down as it gave one last farting noise and entered hibernation. 

Harry stared in shock as he came to the conclusion that he was officially stranded. This was every pilot’s nightmare and one that Harry was completely unprepared for. His breaths came quicker even as he tried to push down his rising anxiety. 

Harry pulled out the little snitch pendant hung low on his chest along the thin chain of his necklace and squeezed it for comfort. He could not find it in himself to muster up the same anger that propelled him to leave the comfort of his home in a fit of rage. Harry shut his eyes dejectedly and curled up in his seat.

***

Harry woke up to soft engine sounds and a slow rocking motion. As he slowly came to full awareness, it became clear that he was in someone’s arms. Strong and familiar arms.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and looked up into the face of the intergalactic warlord Voldemort.

“Finally awake?” he asked. 

Harry bit his lip and looked away.

He was gently laid down on a soft bed as he observed his surroundings. In small elegant lettering along the metal frame of the door was the name of the spaceship: Prophecy.

“Still angry?” 

Harry sighed. “Not as much as before.” He sat up and leaned on a soft, fluffy pillow. “How did you find me?”

“It took a couple of days. By then you had entered hibernation too.”

The warlord sat on the bed and leaned in. “I very nearly lost you.” He said, anger clear in his tone.

Harry rolled his eyes. “This wouldn’t happen if you’d just listened to me, Tom.”

“And you shouldn’t have engaged in terrorist activities and ran away from home.” Tom shot back.

“If you’re not going to change your mind about the bill, I’m still going to fight you.” Harry promised. 

“Then you can learn to deal with the consequences of your own decisions.” Tom said coldly as he leaned back and made to get up from the bed.

“Wait!” Harry frantically grabbed at Tom’s arm, halting him in his movements. “Don’t leave me.” He mumbled.

“What did you say?” Tom asked.

“I said, don’t leave me alone in outer space.” Harry spoke a little louder before he turned away so he wouldn’t have to face Tom. 

Tom took a slow, measured breath before he pulled his obstinate husband into his lap. “I’ll hold a consultation again and you can invite your friend Hermione. That’s the most I’ll do, it’s up to her to persuade the council. Do you understand, Harry?”

Harry nodded, clutching onto soft robes with his head buried in Tom’s chest as he breathed in his comforting scent.

“Okay. I want to go home.” Harry said, his voice muffled.

“Then we’ll go home.” Tom replied.

Harry buried even deeper into Tom's embrace until there wasn’t a single inch of space left between him and his husband.

**Author's Note:**

> "We're almost back." Tom informed Harry as he looked at the trajectory of their descent.
> 
> "Okay, but stop squeezing my arse, you pervert.” Harry smacked Tom's hand away.


End file.
